curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
