the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
