How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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