stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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