I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
