I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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