It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize