so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
