Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
