discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
