You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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