am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
