i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
