maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize