Whod you bang
White coat. Heels.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
