new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
