So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
