I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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