You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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