The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
