just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize