my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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