My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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