Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
