"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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