the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
