i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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