this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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