Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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