just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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