Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
