Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
