very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
