spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
sex in a hospital.. check
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
