My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
