We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i was born a porn star she said
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
