tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
