Already got asked if we're dating
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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