in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
