Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
