Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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