She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
