grandma shit on top of the toilet
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My butt remains clenched, sir.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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