...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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