put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I look better un-naked...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
