I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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