I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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