i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
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