didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Is it because I queefed?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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