do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
