I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
