Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
