I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
