also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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