Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
