College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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