i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
