u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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