1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
