Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
