Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
it's great music for shaving your balls
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
