I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
