i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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